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Important Conversations to Have Before Starting a Relationship

To be honest, if you don't pay attention to these topics before entering a relationship, it will almost certainly be terminated before it even begins.

We all know that the key to any successful and healthy relationship is honesty and open communication. But what are the actual topics and questions about which you should be completely honest?

First and foremost, don't be afraid to ask probing questions because failing to do so may alter the course of your relationship in an unfavorable way.

Who knows, maybe that conversation will lead to something wonderful. So why not try it?

What are your views on saving vs. spending money?

You might be surprised to learn that money is the second leading cause of divorce. Why? Because many people are uncomfortable discussing money as if it were a taboo subject.

If you don't discuss your financial perspectives early on, you won't know what you disagree on until it's too late.

So, regardless of who makes more money, talk about equal say in financial decisions. If financial decision-making power is not distributed equally, feelings of resentment or inadequacy will arise.

Discuss your short and long-term financial goals and ensure they are in sync. Do they intend to purchase a home? How do they intend to retire, and how are they saving for it? Do they owe anything?

It may be too much to ask for this kind of information, but it is an important part of any relationship.

How have you changed in the last few years?

Self-awareness is another important part of your relationship. Asking your potential partner how they’ve changed in the last few years says a lot about them.

A partner who’s aware of their growth and feelings is a partner with whom you’re going to have a healthy relationship.

Change is constant, and those who are aware of their flaws are the only ones who can someday become a better version of themselves. 

So asking about their past, flaws and their growth will give you a clear insight of what you can expect from them as a partner. 

What counts as cheating?

What’s considered cheating? And how does this impact your relationship?

It’s not about what YOU feel you do is cheating. It’s about what your PARTNER feels about what you do with others. That’s why defining what you count as cheating is one of the crucial parts before entering a relationship. 

Is it only a physical act? An emotional act? Or both? 

Everyone has their own definition of what counts as cheating. Once you’re done with this conversation, you should be on the same page in terms of what’s considered cheating and what’s not.

If this isn’t the case, don’t ever proceed with the relationship because it might end sooner than you think. 

Are there any secrets we should keep to ourselves?

Some might say honesty is the best policy. It brings you closer and helps you connect on a deeper emotional level.

Others will say that some secrets should never be revealed. So how can you know what’s the right thing to do? 

In fact, this is again a decision that you as a couple need to make. Revealing your secrets can help you achieve greater intimacy, but on the contrary, it can also create feelings of constant fear and mistrust. 

So what’s the right thing to do? Openly communicate! Define your boundaries: should there be any and to what extent should they go? Are you allowed to keep secrets from your partner that involve your parents, or friends? 

If you don’t discuss these things with your partner, secrets might ruin every relationship you start.

Do your expectations of me or the relationship change?


Dating is one thing, but being in a committed and long-term relationship is another. So, how does your relationship change after you go exclusive? 

Are you hanging out more? Are you each other’s primary emotional support? Are you each other’s emergency contact?

Going official brings up a lot of these questions. Some people like the way things are in the talking stage, while others expect a more serious approach  once you’re official. 

And both of those options are okay, as long as you’re on the same page. But how will you know if you don’t discuss it, right?

What are your long-term goals?

Love is not enough. Love is not enough for a long-term committed healthy relationship to fully work. 

We’ve been told our whole life that love is all you need and it’s not true. VALUES, GOALS, AND LIFESTYLE. Those are the things besides love that you need. 

It’s not just about what you want to do this weekend, but what you want to do with your life. Talking about long-term goals is like playing a game of chess. You’re both looking ahead, planning your moves, and strategizing for the future. 

When you talk about long-term goals, you’re discussing the moves and strategies for your relationship. You’re looking at the bigger picture and considering how to make sure that your relationship is successful and full of joy.

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